you are Such a tease

First you take forever to let a cool breeze in, then after everyone gets excited and pulls out sweaters you promptly return in full force. Excuse me, Heat, it is October 18. I should not be in a tank top and shorts. My baby shoud not be sweating in her crib while sleeping in a sleeveless onesie sporting fish. She needs to be in a sweatshirt like she was last week.

Even the two, pretty pumpkins I literally climbed into a huge barrel to buy (don't expect me to hope for cool weather with ugly pumpkins) did not persuade you to go. You laughed and your breath made it hotter. Do you not smell the incense I burn (well, my Hazelnut Cream and Baked Apple Pie candles)? Don't you think you should kindly comply and go your merry way?

You have the entire Southern Hemisphere waiting for you - is that not enough? Are you really that insecure that you won't let your coveted cousin, Cold, come (and doesn't my alliteration impress you? or at least scare you away?)? Heck, just let your half-brother, Cool, visit us.

I no longer want to see my neighbors watering their yard. I no longer want to wear flip-flops, or if I do, I want my toes to be cold. I no longer want to sleep under our Summer covers. I want the big guns. I want the down comforter. I no longer want to order caramel frappucinos (decaf) - I want mochas (decaf)! I no longer want to use air conditioning in my car or my house. These are my heartfelt pleas.

All I know is that you'd better be packing your bags for at least 4 months (that's not too much to ask, is it?) by October 31. My baby will be a bunny, and although bunnies Do frolic during the warm months, her costume is furry and warm and I don't want a sweaty, sad bunny.

Don't you worry, I'll be calling on you soon enough. But I need my space. Too much of anything is not a good thing, right?